My Life in Pictures: Vol. 1

We had a good 4 day weekend. It was MLK Jr. Day, so Monday was off but then we had an increment weather warning with freezing rain and snow, and since we live in Texas, everything is pretty much shutdown Tuesday. We still got to enjoy the beginning of the weekend but once it got cold, we watched Netflix and played with our dogs. Here are some of the pictures I took during our break.

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Saturday: We drove to San Antonio to see my family. Had lunch there and then drove back before it got dark. We watched The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (A must watch if you have Amazon Prime). This is me being all mussy – I wanted to write a blog entry but failed.

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Sunday: Went to Halal Bros. for lunch. I had this back in 2011(?) in New York, so it was nice to have the same restaurant here in Austin. That white sauce and rice, I love it!

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It was still nice out so we decided to play with the dogs in our backyard. I forced Robert to take a picture with me and Carlie. This is my favorite, even though my eyes were closed.

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Monday: Even my fortune cookie says so.

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Tuesday: Schools were cancelled, so had another day to relax and stay home. Our dogs loved it.

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Made sugar cookies because I was craving for something sweet. Omnomnom.

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Allie doesn’t want to share her food with Carlie so she flipped her bowl to cover the food and laid down next to it. You can see her staring at Carlie — she is not happy.

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I was watching TV and then I saw June doing this. Not sure what she’s thinking but it’s just funny how she’s so random like this. Dogs do have personalities.

Now I’m back to work. I miss my afternoon naps – can we have another long weekend?

Day 134-136: Change is not always good

Happy New Year everybody!

Last January 10, I went to see my doctor for my follow up appointment. August 2017 seemed like a long time ago, but here I am now, almost 5 months into taking my medication. I’ve been taking an anti-depressant and anxiety medication this whole time and like I said in my posts, I found the right dose that makes me productive and live a normal life. This follow up appointment meant that my 6 months is almost up and we have to figure out a course of action moving forward. I don’t plan on taking medications my whole life, I am still hopeful that I am able to gradually stop taking my meds and eventually not relying on it.

My visit was good. My doctor has a plan for me – I’m currently taking Lexapro for my depression and Hydoxyzine for anxiety, she wants me to continue Lexapro but stop taking Hydroxyzine and take Buspar instead. She originally prescribed me with Buspar, took it for 2 days and I had to stop. I started shaking and having bad panic attacks. She eventually prescribed me with Hydroxyzine, which I had no problems with. She wanted me to switch to Buspar, for personal reasons, which I am hesitant at first, but I understood why. She knew my history with this medication, so she said to try it for 5 days, see how I feel. If I didn’t get any side effects, I’ll cut my Lexapro in half, try it for a week, eventually take it every other day until I can stop. Then I should take Buspar twice a day, until I feel that I don’t need to take any medication. Sounds like a good plan to me. I went home, made dinner then took my medication that night.

I woke up the next day, miserable. The shaking came back and I was not able to get out of bed because of all the thoughts running through my head. It was so noisy and the shaking won’t stop that I had to hug Robert tight just to calm me down. I skipped work that day – I don’t want to drive with this condition and I know I won’t be productive at work either. I knew it was the Buspar. Robert suggested that I don’t take it for another day,  since I have to go to work, and take it during the weekend. We have a 3-day weekend coming up, so it would be perfect. But I don’t want to take the medicine. I don’t want to feel anxious anymore, I felt horrible. Robert suggested that I let my doctor know, maybe she can recommend something else to take.

I have no idea why my body hates Buspar. It is January 12, I didn’t take the medicine last night and I got up with no problems this morning. I still feel a bit hazy but I went to work and carried on. I am still waiting for a reply from my doctor, I hope she can recommend something else. Or maybe I don’t have to take my anxiety medicine anymore? Maybe this is a chance to ease off of it?

Maybe.

Update: I received a green light from my doctor’s PA and agreed with my plan – stop taking my anxiety medicine and then ease off my anti-depressant. This is awesome. We’ll see how I do. Wish me luck .

Early Year in Review

With just 3 days until the end of 2017, I decided to make my year in review post. 2017 has been memorable for me and Robert. We became homeowners and went to visit Asia. We also got a rabbit and dog, as an addition to our growing family. Celebrated our birthdays and our 2nd year wedding anniversary. Spent time with our families, attended weddings, road trips, and experienced snow for the first time together. A lot of good things have happened and I am looking forward to what’s in store for in the coming year.

There were also not so good things that happened that made our relationship and bond stronger. I was diagnosed with acute hyperplasia and I started taking medication starting the beginning of the year. I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety mid-year, which I wasn’t really expecting to happen. A lot of doctor visits, biopsies, crying, and frustration but we got through it. I am in my last days of taking my depression medicine and next month I am scheduled to see my family doctor, to see how I am doing. I stopped taking my hyperplasia medication last October and I am scheduled to see my doctor next month to do another biopsy. I just hope everything looks good.

2017 was a good and a bit rough year for me but all the good trumps the bad. I am really thankful and blessed just thinking about everything that happened.

I am looking forward to the new year, with my new journal in hand. I plan to write more, be more mindful and enjoy life. We have plans for the new year that I am hoping we can accomplish. We are ready for you, 2018!

Happy New Year everybody! Hope it’s a good one!

Merry Christmas!

 

I love the holidays because it means family time. I am lucky enough to have my family just 2 hours away, so we got to spend time with them for an early Christmas celebration.

We spent our Christmas Eve in our house and my in-laws had dinner with us, watched Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown and gave gifts.

Robert and I gave gifts as well. Our gifts are (not) surprisingly enough, dog-themed.

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Now that I am older, I really don’t care about gifts anymore. All I want is the company and stories that my family shares.

Merry Christmas to you and yours! Hope it is a memorable one. 🙂

Day 112:

I can’t even think of a title for this post.

We have 2 1/2 work days left before the Christmas break and I am already checked out for the year. I don’t feel like working anymore, I’d rather stay at home and sleep. It doesn’t help that it has been gloomy and rainy this past few days – rainy, cuddle weather. It is already December 19th but I don’t feel the Christmas spirit here at work. I am very much into the spirit, I like decorating and giving people candy – I’ve done this every where I’ve worked and my co-workers did the same. But this year is different. Because of my current situation, I don’t want to give out candies to everybody except for those people that I am not talking to. And I do not want to give them anything either, just to make myself happy and fulfilled because I know I am doing it for the wrong reasons.

Yesterday, one of my co-workers asked me if I am going to enter the door decorating contest that we have here at work. I’ve thought about it, but the weekend came and I didn’t have anything prepared to decorate. I showed her my idea and she said that we can go to a craft store over lunch, so I can decorate. She’s going to decorate her door too and was looking for somebody to go with her to the store. So I went. It was very refreshing to finally have somebody that I can talk to about being craftsy and stuff. We spent a good hour, looking for what might work and I was very happy with my purchase. I was excited to decorate my door that I started doing it once we got back the office.

There’s one problem though. The girl I shared an office with is one of the girls that doesn’t like (for some reason). So I knew, going into this, that I will do the decorating by myself. I was totally fine with it. Last year, I shared a room with her and two other folks and I asked if they wanted to help me decorate our door. Long story short, I did all the decorating. I figured this year won’t be as different. I finished decorating yesterday. It made me happy for a bit, that I’ve accomplished something but that eventually faded away. When the girl saw the decorations, she didn’t say anything. How can you not notice a door covered with black paper with a red dot in the middle and words that say “Rudolph in the dark”? I got home, watched tv and when we were about to sleep, Robert asked me if there was anything that bothered me. So I told him my story.

Acceptance and being noticed. That’s all I’ve wanted. There I said it. This is why I’m feeling a little down today. If I can take off working starting tomorrow, I would. I texted Robert and he said to get to work and not think about anything else. I will try.

Almost Christmas break, I can’t wait.