@mrscfp

Madalas kong i-Google ang pangalan ko noon. Lalo na nung active blogger pa ako. Curious kasi ako kung ano ba ang lumalabas na result kapag sinearch ang pangalan ko. Usually, ang results e mga blog entries, tweets o kaya ung mga online accounts ko. Nung nagsimula akong magblog, hindi ko ginamit ang tunay kong pangalan. May ganyan sa online world e, may penname kumbaga. Para kahit na ano ang i-post mo online, ung online name mo ung searchable at hindi ung tunay mong pangalan.

@karmimay. Yan ang gamit kong pangalan noong single pa ako. Ilang taon din na yan ang gamit ko, hanggang sa naging @mimay na lang. Syempre, nung naging Mrs. na ako, gusto kong gamitin ung pangalan ko. Kaya naging @carmefpena na ako sa buong WWW. Lahat ng online accounts ko, yan ang ginamit kong username. Kahit nga sa Pokemon Go, yan din ang username ko.

Sinubukan kong i-Google ung pangalan ko, para malaman kung ano ung lalabas. Well. Ayun, lumabas lahat. Ewan ko ba, medyo natakot ako na isang search lang ng full name ko e malalaman na ng lahat ung life story ko. I know, I know, ako naman din ang may kasalanan dahil ako tong ang daming sineshare diba? Pero natakot pa din ako. Dito na nagsimula ung pagiisip ko ng bagong online name.

Grabe. Napakahirap. CFP sana dahil yan na ung initials ko, pero super iksi naman daw sabi ni Twitter. Ang dami ko pang naisip na variations gamit ung pangalan ko, pero sawi. Hanggang sa nung isang araw, sinubukan ko ulit ilagay ung CFP. Tapos, eureka! Eh kung lagyan ko na lang kaya ng Mrs. sa harap. Nakaopen ung Twitter account ko, sinubukang palitan ang pangalan tapos ayun, available! Dali-dali kong pinalitan na din ung IG account ko, saka Facebook. Gusto ko kasi na iisang username lang ung gamit ko sa mga online account ko. Ayun, pumwede naman sa lahat.

So from now on, I am known as @mrscfp. I like it, feeling ko kasi ayan, naka-catch up na ung online presence ko sa nangyayari sa personal kong buhay. Isa na akong Mrs. kaya why not i-embrace ito. Kahit itong blog, nagkaroon na din ako ng tagline.

Stories About Becoming a Mrs. and Other Musings That I Want to Share To The World

Oh diba. Ganern. Parang rebirth ganyan. Ang happy ko lang. Yay!

#Adulting

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Image Credits: theAwkwardYeti.com

This comic definitely hit home. I remember the time when I can buy anything that I want/can and not worry about it too much. I can travel whenever I want. As long as I have a job and paid time off, I am good. I didn’t have to think about anybody else when it comes to spending money. This is my hard-earned money, so I can do whatever I want with it.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still very responsible. I may have the luxury of buying whatever I want but I still made sure that my bills are paid before I do. I also tried to save as much as I can every month – which was something that I kinda wished I did sooner. But at that time, I lived in the now, yup that is my excuse, lol. My brain and heart are both in the same page. I worked hard so I deserved a little pampering here and there. Even if that pampering will cost me $200 something. At least I got a matching purse and wallet and the best thing was it was on sale!

One very big adjustment for me when I got married was the fact that MY money is now part of OUR money. When I married Robert, we decided to have a joint bank account. It is just easier, for us, to manage one account. One account to put our money in, one account to pay off bills, buy groceries, and everything else. So far, it has been working perfect for us and I think we are going to keep our finances in one big pot.

Now that we are married, we still try to find a good balance between being a responsible adult and splurging because we deserve it. I think he is more thrifty than I am. He has more control when it comes to money, he is definitely the one who takes care of the finances but he still values my input. Robert tutors 2x a week so we have extra fun money that we can spend. Most of the time, we use that money to eat out when we are being lazy to make dinner or there are also times when we use it for gas money and to buy groceries. It is all about the balance. We paid our bills and planned our Wedding Anniversary/Birthdays trip in October. Balance.

Like I said, the feels on the comic is real. Adulting is also real. I got paid today, so I paid my bills. It is also the weekend, so we’ll try to do something fun. We have to buy groceries too. My heart and brain are trying to be in the same page. Just have to learn how to compromise.

Habambuhay

Hawak ko ang iyong kamay habang tinatanong mo ako kung kamusta ang araw ko. Ang kadalasang sagot ko ay ‘Ayos lang naman’ sabay dugtong ng kung ano man ang ginawa ko ng araw na iyon. Tapos ay ikaw naman ang magkukwento. Araw-araw, ganito tayong dalawa. Walang sawang naguusap tungkol sa kung anu-ano. Mapa-tungkol sa trabaho, napanood sa TV o kaya nabasa online. Lahat binabahagi, walang sikreto sa ating dalawa.

Minsan, tinanong kita kung gagawin ba natin to habambuhay. Kung ok lang sa’yo ang makinig sa lahat ng kwento ko, mapa-good news man o bad. Sabi mo ay oo. Forever tayong dalawa.

Ngayo’y tinititigan kita habang masaya kang nagkukwento tungkol sa isang stand up comedy na napanood mo. Kita ko ang pagkaaliw mo. Hindi ko na din mapigilang mapangiti. Una, dahil nakakatawa nga naman ung stand up comedy. Pangalaw, masaya akong makita kang masaya. Masaya ako na binabahagi mo ang buhay mo sa akin.

R: Oh, I changed your name on my phone to ‘Wife’.

M: Awww, I have your name as Hubby on my phone.

R: I love you Wifey.

Hindi ko inaasahan yan. Super kinilig ako nung sinabi mo sa akin yan. Parang ang babaw lang kumpara sa araw-araw na pagpaparamdam mo ng pagmamahal sa akin. Pero ewan ko ba, para akong teenager na kinilig. Nakakatuwa.

Matutulog na tayong dalawa. Ikaw ung huli kong kausap bago matulog at syang gigising sa akin bukas. Hay, eto ba ang gagawin ko habambuhay? Hay.:)

Story of My Life

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Image Credits to: TheAwkwardYeti

Iyakin akong bata. Walang pinagbago kahit na 31 years old na ako. Mapa-movie, tv show o kahit libro, basta kapag ung topic e tungkol sa pamilya o pag-ibig, automatic na yan, maiiyak ako. Kahit animated movies e iniiyakan ko. Oo, tama ang basa mo, pati cartoons e naiiyak ako. Halos lahat ata ng Pixar movies e naiyak ako. Ibang klase lang diba?

Kaya naman nung nakita ko ung latest post ng TheAwkwardYeti, super nakarelate ako. Nagdadahilan pa na may dumi sa mata kaya naiyak, eh kitang dahil naman ito sa palabas. Sanay na din ang asawa ko sa akin. Alam na nya kung saang eksena ako maiiyak. Titingnan na nya ako kaagad at papansinin kung umiiyak na ba ako. Hay, iyakin talaga si Mimay.

I just call it like I see it.

Tama nga naman. Masyado lang talaga kong emosyonal siguro. Well, di naman na ata mawawala sa akin un. Ok lang din namang umiyak. Saka matagal ko na din namang niyakap ang pagiging iyakin ko, hehe.

 

Hindi Pala Ikaw

Ang dami na din nating napagdaanan. Mga kwentong naibahagi ng isa’t-isa. Ang dami pa nga nating plano diba? Plano para sa hinaharap, mga gustong mangyari sa buhay. Hinintay nating dumating ang panahon na magiging realidad ang mga imaheng nabuo nating dalawa. Umasa tayo na magiging totoo ang mga panaginip. Mabibigyan ng buhay ang bakery na pareho nating gustong ipatayo. Ung may katabing bookstore para saktong tambayan ng mga mahihilig sa kape at libro.

Ilang taon din un. Sa bawat liham na naipadala, kalakip nito ang mga halik at yakap na nais nating iparamdam sa isa’t-isa. Kalakip nito ay ang pangakong balang-araw, magkakasama na din tayo at hindi na maghihiwalay pa. Sa bawat paguusap natin mapa-telepono o video call, unti-unti nating binuo ang magiging buhay natin, ang ating hinaharap.

Sa pagtagal, ito na ang naging realidad ko. Ikaw, tayong dalawa, magkasama. Ikaw na ang gusto kong makita paggising sa umaga at hindi lamang ang unan kong yakap ko ng mahigpit. Ikaw na ang gusto kong kasalo sa pagkain at wala nang monitor na naghihiwalay sa ating dalawa. Hanggang gabi, ikaw pa din ang gusto kong makatabi at makausap bago matulog. Gusto ko nang hilahin ang oras para kasama na kita kaagad. Ayoko nang maghintay.

Pero dahil mapaglaro ang buhay, hindi natupad ang mga gusto ko. Ung mga planong kasama kang bumuo, naglaho din nung ika’y lumayo. Nawalan ng saysay ang lahat. Nawalan ako ng ganang kumilos. Para akong naparalisa. Biglang nawalan ng linaw ang hinaharap.

Makalipas ang ilang taon, nagkaroon ng bagong linaw ang buhay ko. Natutunan kong mahalin ang sarili at maging  bukas sa mga pwedeng mangyari. Naging masaya ako at nagpatuloy ang buhay. Nagkaroon ng bagong plano para sa hinaharap.

Akala ko katapusan na ng mundo nung nawala ka. Akala ko hindi na pwedeng mawala ang mga pangakong nabitawan. Akala ko sigurado na ko.

Akala ko ikaw na. Hindi pala.

On Becoming A Dog Parent

 

If I can travel back in time, talk to my 20-year old self and tell her that when she turns 31, she’ll be married and have 2 dogs, my younger past self will probably laugh at me and think that I am out of my mind. First of all, when I was 20, I had this plan of getting married at the age of 25 and having my life figured out. My future included a husband, 2 kids and a good paying job. Dogs, however, are not part of my plan, at all — and I have a good enough reason for that.

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When I started dating Robert, I knew that he owned a dog, her name is Allie. A few weeks into dating, he got another dog and named her Carlie. I didn’t question him why he got another dog. Clearly, one dog is enough right? I never understood dog people in general — like why or how would you treat your own dog like your own kid. I feel like it is not the same. Dogs don’t need clothes or toys. You can leave them in the cage and go on your daily routine. You just have to feed them, take them out to do their business and take them to the park once in awhile. I never had a pet growing up, so I never had the sense of responsibility in that sense — that you have to take care of somebody aside from yourself.

When Robert proposed, it became apparent that I, too, will have to take care of his dogs. The dogs IMG_2141will now be my dogs too. I remember Robert telling me that the morning before he proposed, he talked to both his dogs and told them that he will get them a Mom that day. I think I cried after hearing that. I know how important his dogs are for him, so the fact that he told them that makes the moment even more special. I am going to be their mom. Yep, this is happening.

We’ve been married for 8 months now and I think I am slowly becoming a dog parent. I started realizing this when I showed Robert my phone and telling him how
I have a bunch of dog pictures. Every time I get home from work, I spend a good 30 minutes playing with them and ends up asking what they did the whole day when in fact they were just inside their cage. I now know that they love massages and cuddles. They pretty much took over our couch and loves watching TV with us. I love teasing and asking them if they want to go for a walk. I laugh at how they both respond to that question. It doesn’t matter if they are both sleepy, if they hear the word walk, their heads both pop-up and tails start to wag.

I also had this hard rule of no dogs will enter our room or jump on the bed but we currently sleep with both of dogs and they keep us warm at night. I don’t mind the fact that they sleep on top of my leg or they walk on top of me. They are like little kids who like to get your attention.

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From being afraid of dogs since I was a kid — because I got bitten twice, to being a dog parent, I honestly think it was impossible. I now understand dog parents like me. Dogs are such lovable animals and they are good stress reliever too. Life does have a funny way of making people face their fears, and I think this is how mine was supposed to be presented.

So I guess my response to my 20-year old self is, I am not out of my mind, just go with the flow and never say never.

 

Baby Let’s Cruise

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Because of summer break, Robert and I planned to go on a cruise. I’ve never been on a cruise before, so I have no idea what to expect. Good thing, Robert has been on a couple so he told me of what we can do during the trip. After doing some research, we booked a Carnival Liberty 5-day cruise to the Caribbean, with stops in Cozumel and Progreso.

We drove to Galveston, TX where the Carnival port is. But before heading to Galveston, we decided to stop in Houston to spend the night and visit his brother and wife. While we were there, we had dinner at Jollibee. I was so happy that he got to try Jollibee and liked the food. From watching Pinoy movies, learning Tagalog words, to eating Jollibee, he is becoming a certified Pinoy.

Anyways, we left Galveston around 4pm in the afternoon and according to our ship schedule, we will have Fun Day in the Sea for 2 days. Fun day in the Sea means buffet and non-stop entertainment around the ship.

We went to a standup comedy almost every night, played BINGO and listened to live music all around the ship. We just sat there, not worrying about work or anything else. We didn’t get hungry either. They had buffet (for breakfast and lunch), pizza, hamburgers, asian food, ice cream. We also got a little fancy one night — we made reservations at the Diamond Steakhouse where we had steak and lobster.

After 2 fun days at sea, we finally reached one of the stops, Progreso, Mexico.

This is my first time in Mexico and my first impression is that it looked a lot like a “probinsya” in the Philippines. It reminded me of my dad’s hometown in Quezon. Robert and I signed up for a Scenic and Foodie Tour, since we both love to take pictures and eat food. We we went to the first bakery ever opened in Merida and had samples of the sweet bread. We also went inside a Merida Cathedral and learned a lot of history behind it. I learned about the Mayan culture and ate some good food. We had fun during the tour but it was so hot that we can’t wait to go back to the ship.

Another stop that we made was in Cozumel Island.

We didn’t sign up for any excursion during our stay in Cozumel. We decided to just walk around and go to the downtown area where we had lunch and looked at shops. We also went to a Starbucks, where we stayed for a bit to connect to their wifi, lol. We didn’t have any wifi while we were in the ship. We bought some souvenirs and walked around the square until we decided to go back to the ship.

The last day of the cruise was spent with more entertainment around the ship. I love the fact that they have different activities everyday that I didn’t really feel like I am in a ship, crossing the Gulf of Mexico. I was surprised that I didn’t get seasick as well.

Another thing that I really loved about the cruise was the towel animals! We got a different one everyday!

All in all, it was a fun experience, I will definitely go on a cruise again!

Goodbye EC. Hello Midori.

After 2 days of researching about planners, I finally did it — I finally purchased a Midori Traveler’s Notebook.

It wasn’t an easy decision for me since I already have an Erin Condren planner that I’ve been using since January. I normally stick with one planner for the whole year and then around November, I’ll start looking at options for another planner. But this time it’s different. I started reading about Bullet Journals and the idea seems great but very foreign for me. I need a whole page so I can write down everything that’s going on my daily life. I am more of a “feelings” type of person than a very detailed, bullets type of person. So reading about people using bullet journals, I was challenged and it looked interesting for me.

Honestly, I tried starting a bullet journal a few months ago. I bought a grid journal, started writing on it, but didn’t really got that far.  So that’s that. I stopped reading about bullet journals and decided to stick with my current planner.

But then. Of course, I didn’t really stop. This is when I started watching videos about the Midori Traveler’s Notebook.

Continue reading “Goodbye EC. Hello Midori.”

The not so good week

IMG_1840Grabe. Medyo hindi ok ngayong linggo. Alam mo ung pakiramdam na may nakipagbreak sa’yo. Tipong, pinagkatiwalaan mo ung tao tapos sa isang iglap, mawawalan ng silbi ung lahat ng efforts mo. Iiwan ka na lang nya ng ganun na lang, ni walang pasabi o kung may nasabi man e walang iba kundi “Bye. Dyan ka na.” Walang reason, wala kang chance para ipaliwanag ung side mo.

Ang hirap diba. Ang hirap sa pakiramdam.

Pero ganyan ung nangyari ngayong linggo. Walang nakipagbreak sa akin pero parang ganun na din ung pakiramdam ko matapos kong malaman na magbabago ung role ko sa trabaho. Kung ano man ung ginagawa ko o ginawa ko sa loob ng anim na buwan, walang saysay lahat ng iyon. Unfair. Hindi rason na nakakaramdam ng pressure ung management kaya nagpower trip sila. Ganyan ang pakiramdam ko. Pagod na akong umiyak sa trabaho. Para akong kinawawa na ewan. Napakanegative ng vibe sa trabaho ngayon. Hindi nakakatuwa.

Ngayon, Biyernes, sa wakas nakapahinga na ako sa pagiyak. Siguro kasi nasa bahay lang ako at hindi nakikipagusap sa ibang tao. Kahit gloomy sa labas e binuksan ko pa din ung bintana. Iba pa din ung nakakakita ka ng ibang tanawin at hindi lang computer ang lagi kong kaharap. Hay, bakit nga ba ganito ang buhay ano? Napakaunpredictable. Dapat handa ka sa pwedeng mangyari, mabuti man o masama.

Sabi ng asawa ko, look for the positive from what’s happening. May point naman sya na at least may trabaho pa din ako at pwedeng-pwede naman akong maghanap ng bagon trabaho kung ayaw ko na talaga sa trabaho ko ngayon. Pero sana ganun kadali ang maghanap ng trabaho. Nakakastress kaya. Ayoko na ng ganitong pakiramdam ulit — nasa limbo ako. Hindi masaya. Pero eto na e, eto ung binigay sa akin at dahil sawa na akong umiyak at maawa sa sarili ko, kebs na lang. At least may trabaho pa din.

Hay. Ewan. Pasalamat na lang na 3-day weekend. Dahil tatlong araw akong hindi mamomoroblema na tungkol sa trabaho. Next week na lang ako ulit masstress.

Pahinga na muna ngayon.

Dear Diary

May personal journal ako. Personal journal na araw-araw kong sinusulatan, kung ano nangyari that day, ung feelings ko, lahat, dun ko nilalagay. Kung ano ang ginawa ko sa trabaho, date night with Robert o kahit ung nasa apartment lang kami at nanood ng HGTV. Dino-document ko lahat or at least I try to.

Since 2000, may journal na ako. 4th year Highschool ako nung nagstart akong magsulat sa diary. Nakakainis pa nga kasi nawala ung pinakauna kong diary. Nawala sa loob ng classroom. Naalala ko pa, as in nabroadcast un sa buong klase kaya pati mga kaklase ko, aware na nawawala ang journal ko. In the end, hindi ko na ito nahanap o nakita pa.

College nung nagstart akong magblog at dito na din nagsimula ung pagiipon ko ng diary/planner/journal. Mahilig akong magsulat e. Lahat ng feelings ko, sinusulat ko. Nahilig din akong magsulat ng tula that time. Ang dami kong feelings. Ang dami kong gustong isulat. Mapa-tungkol sa school, friends, lalo na tungkol sa pag-ibig. Documented lahat. Kaya pati mga kapatid ko gustong basahin ung diary ko. Yup, ginawa nila un. Nilock nila ung pinto ng kwarto namin para lang basahin ung mga nakasulat sa diary.

16 years later, may diary pa din ako. At naitago ko lahat ng journal ko. So kung mamamatay man ako, may material na para gawing pelikula ang life story ko. From 2000 to present, college days hanggang sa magasawa ako. Ang daming memories, both good and bad ang nasa pahina ng aking diary.

Hindi na ko nakakapagsulat masyado. Nung binuksan ko ung diary ko over the weekend, halos 1 week din pala akong hindi nakapagsulat. It’s either super busy ako, o super busy ako. Dumadaan ang araw na hindi ko namamalayan, hindi pala ako nakapagsulat. Hindi lang dito sa blog ako walang oras, pati na din sa personal journal ko. May araw pa nga na naiisip ko, kailangan ko pa bang magjournal? Kailangan ko pa bang i-document ang buhay ko? Eh kitang, work, apartment, Robert, aso lang naman ang buhay ko ngayon. Same thing happening everyday. Bakit kailangan ko pang magsulat?

Kasi gusto ko. Kasi kahit paulit-ulit lang ang nangyayari sa buhay ko, gusto ko pa din ung may quiet time ako para sa sarili ko. At un ung purpose ng pagsusulat ko sa journal ko. At the end of the day, magrereflect sa kung ano ang nangyari sa buong araw, kung ano ang nararadaman ko, at magpapasalamat sa panibagong araw na nabigyan ako ng chance na isulat.

I’m 31 right now. I’ve been writing on journals since I was 15. Malamang hanggang sa tumanda ako, may journal pa din akong dala-dala at gagamit.