My First Ever Friendsgiving got canceled

Robert and I got invited to a Friendsgiving by his co-worker this weekend. We were told to bring pumpkin pie and green bean casserole. We found out about this weeks ago and this made me excited.

Sunday came, we bought the pie and ingredients for the green bean casserole. We had lunch afterwards and went home, giving me enough time to make the casserole. We got home and I started prepping. I opened cans of cream of mushroom soup and green beans. Mixed it with soy sauce, milk and black pepper. I then transferred the mixture to an aluminum foil pan. The first batch of green bean casserole is ready. I then pre-heated the oven to 350F and started to prep for another batch of casserole. I first opened the cream of mushroom soup, pulled the tab and that’s when it happened. I felt a sting on my left middle finger and when I looked, I saw it bleeding. My first instinct was to run it with water, so I did. I started to panic. Robert gave me a paper towel, wrapped it around my finger and instructed me to put pressure on it. So I did. The bleeding won’t stop. I almost fainted after hearing what Robert said — “You might need stitches, babe”. What happened next was a blur. He called a nearby clinic and we were on our way within the next 10 minutes.

We got to the clinic, got a room and the doctor saw me. He said that it needs a single stitch. As the nurse prepped, Robert kept saying that I will be fine. I know I will be but stitches?! I never thought that I’ll get stitches. After 15 minutes, the doctor came back and gave me a numbing shot. I can’t dare look. My finger got numb right away and then he started stitching. I looked at Robert the whole time. He, on the other hand, kept his eye on the stitching. My finger started bleeding again, so we had to put a bandage to make it stop. The doctor said I need to have the stitch covered and I can’t have my hand wet. I have to come back after 2 days, have the doctor do a follow-up. My stitches will be removed after a week.

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Robert decided to skip the Friendsgiving dinner so I can relax. Bummer. Oh well. Now I have a huge bandage that I can’t really hide. I have to go to work tomorrow too. This is going to be interesting.

Day 77/78 – Back to normal-ish

I love planners and since 2017 is almost over, my annual quest for the best planner is on. I’ve tried bullet journaling a little over a year ago, but after a week, I went back to my normal planner. I didn’t know what to do with it then and lists, instead of writing paragraphs, didn’t appeal much to me.

That’s why, in my search for the 2018 planner, I bought a bullet journal from Barnes and Noble. Yup, it doesn’t make sense, lol. After watching Youtube videos and reading blogs about bullet journals, it decided to give it another try. I want to customize my planner for next year, that it can hold a little bit of both — lists and long emotional entries. My sister went to a planner party months ago and she gave me her swag bag from the event — stickers for days!

Last night, I started creating my 2018 planner. I finished January and my plan is to work on one month every night. I like the freedom that I have with regards to designing my planner. Makes me happy, knowing that I created my own planner. This activity makes me busy too, so I don’t have to think about anything else.

A few days ago, I told Robert that I feel like I am my normal self again. I am still taking my anti-depressant and anxiety medications, which I think helps a lot. I don’t feel anxious going to work anymore. Without realizing it, I also stopped talking about work/co-workers and how it makes me sad/mad/upset. I like it. I know this is supposed to be how I should feel everyday but that wasn’t the case. It is amazing how the things/feelings we take for granted are usually the ones that truly  makes us happy.

I am happy of my progress, one day at a time. I know the episodes might come back but I am going to focus and look forward to days like these. 🙂

Day 72: Routine

My morning routine consists of taking the dogs out, taking my medicine and talking to Robert about our plans for the day. I don’t eat breakfast, so after I let the dogs in, I start getting ready for work. There are some days that I would break this routine, especially if I am running late. One important thing that I can’t forget is to take my medicine.

I woke up today, around the same time and took the dogs out. I got our milk out of the fridge, poured it into my glass and opened my pill bottle, then I started talking to Robert who is making his coffee. I drank from my cup and put it down on the counter. I see my pill bottle open but I don’t remember taking my medicine. I looked at Robert and he said don’t take another pill, wait for tomorrow.

Oops.

This is the first time I’ve ever missed(?) a dose. I don’t know what to expect so I read forums and articles online. Robert didn’t seem worried about it but I just want to make sure that I know what to expect. After reading a few articles, looks like I won’t feel anything change if I missed a dose. My medicine should be in my body for the next 36 hours, so if I take my dose tomorrow, I should be good. Whew.

I know I don’t have to worry about anything right now, but I do start thinking about what would happen once I am off my medications. I’ve read that some people have had withdrawal symptoms after a few days of being off their pills. They would have episodes but it will eventually go away. I’ve also read people going back, taking their pills because it was just too hard for them to function. I know my experience might be different from everybody else but this is making me anxious. My medication ends on January, so I guess I will soon find out. I shouldn’t worry much about it, since it is not happening yet, but man, I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that I missed a dose today. I should stop worrying.

Sigh.

I went to work and I feel fine. As I walk in our building, I realized that I left my phone in my car. Oh and I also almost forget to close our garage door. Maybe I am just being forgetful. Well, I think that deserves another blog post.

Day 63: Hello from Pumpkin Pi!

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Because it’s Halloween, I decided to dress up for work today — a pumpkin pi. It was so easy to create and I get to wear a t-shirt all day — comfort is a must for me. There were 2 or 3 people who got my costume and thought it was cool. There was one guy who called me Pumpkin Head and most of them found my pumpkin headband cute. Not the response I was hoping for but it’s ok. I dressed up for me.

Day 63 of taking my medication. I am doing a lot better and I haven’t had a seriously bad episode the whole month, except for that day when I had Monday anxiety. I coined that term “Monday anxiety” because it would be Mondays that I would feel anxious for some odd reason. I am still calling this month a win for me. YAAAAAAY! That’s 31 days of not feeling down or sad. It is a bit manageable at work, I am trying to stay busy with tasks and I don’t let anything else affect me. That’s all I can do right now and I am ok with that.

I cancelled my therapy sessions. I had 2 sessions and I believe that it was enough. I am doing a lot better with how I process my thoughts. If a thought comes up, I stop and figure out if this thought will make me feel sad or not. Is it relevant to what I am doing in that moment or is it a distraction. Once I’ve categorized my thought, I either take action or dismiss it. It sounds easy while I am typing it but no. In my head, I just picture different filters and my thought goes through every single one of them. This helps me a lot.

I have 4 more months that I have to take the medicine and I am really happy that I found the good mix of medication. I’m hoping that the next few months be good to me.

The Sunday Currently: Vol. 1

Hello there. Since I am trying to write as often as I can, I decided to try writing my version of The Sunday Currently. This is also a good way for me to decompress what happened this week and plan for the week ahead. So here goes.

Last Monday-Wednesday, Robert and I celebrated our birthdays and 2nd wedding anniversary. It was a 3-day celebration which involved having dinner with his parents, sushi date and standup comedy on a Tuesday. We received a lot of greetings from family and friends, from social media, text messages and phone calls. It’s funny because Robert and I try to out gift each other. But I realized that I will lose every year because my birthday comes after his and our anniversary. So he can one-up me every. single. time. Oh well. More gifts for me then, lol.

I ordered a Panda Planner and I got it last Friday. I was so excited when I got my planner but was a bit disappointed when I found out that it won’t even last me a full year. The planner is supposed to last 3-6 months, depending on how often you use it. Ummm, I use my planner every day, so I don’t think Panda Planner is right for me. I am now looking at getting a Passion Planner since I’ve heard good things about it. We’ll see what planner I actually get.

It was a lazy weekend for us. The past few weekends were very busy so it was nice to just relax and do nothing for two days. It was pretty much football all day and dog naps. Here’s our baby June, sleeping peacefully.

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So yeah, another work week ahead. I’m looking forward to Tuesday because of Halloween. I don’t have a costume this year, even our dogs. I had all these ideas for a good costume but never did anything about it. Oh well. I am excited to give out candies since this is our first year to do so. There’s also a trunk or treat at Robert’s high school, so we’ll do that as well.

Last two days of October. This month flew by. Before we know it, it’s already Christmas.