same ground

I have to stop this.

Stop being sad. Stop feeling sorry for myself. Stop regretting what I did because at the time it felt right. It still is. I have to remind myself that I did this for myself. I may have said things that I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry for that. I am not like this. I may sound selfish, wanting something after the fact that I said I don’t like it anymore. I am selfish. I only think about myself. I keep my guard up when I know I am bound to get hurt. And then I expect people to wreck the wall and console me. The standards that I set for myself.

“Na-Kitchie Nadal”. Yep, That’s me. I chose this but why am I the one feeling this way. I feel empty but no use crying right now.

Just have to deal with it.

But how?