I sometimes feel like a little kid – minding her own business and then another kid shows up to play with her. And because even though she says that she hates people, she actually like them. So she plays with this other kid. They become close, even made a promise that they’ll be playmates forever. At the end of the day, after being all sweaty and tired, the little girl can’t help but smile. She made a friend today, somebody actually likes her.

Days passed by, they would still play together but since it is a big playground, the other kid started exploring the place. The little girl would just stay at that same spot where they’ve met, hoping that her playmate will come by and notice her. The kid would say hi once in a while but will continue talking to the other kids. She on the other hand will pretend that she doesn’t care and will again mind her business.

She was promised something that will never happen. And she is so used to it.

She’s afraid that she’ll get used to that feeling that she won’t be able to be open to other people. 

I am afraid.