Every time I feel that I don’t have control with my life and that I can mope all day but it doesn’t change anything, I tend to do something drastic. I’ve always had this mentality that since I can’t change how my life is going to be, I can maybe decide on doing something that will make me feel that I have the sense of control, even for a little while – and that is to cut my hair.

Been thinking about cutting my hair short again. It doesn’t matter if my face is too round for the hairstyle that I want, I just want a haircut. And it has been a cycle, I would Google “short hairstyles” and I would see the same images – Emma Watson’s pixie cut, asymmetric cut, Jennifer Lawrence, asian people with short hair. I would think about cutting my hair that short and dismiss the idea. It has been like that all morning. All day. And I am still thinking about it.

I tried tying my hair but since I have asymmetric haircut and it is not even shoulder length, I fail. I am just getting annoyed by it. Now I feel like I can’t do anything about it and have to way til tomorrow to get a haircut because it is too late to go get one now – #firstworldproblems. I don’t know. Maybe I should just stop controlling my life for a change. Maybe I should just be happy of what I have or where I am at right now. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I have no control whatsoever and that I can make decisions but that is just for myself and I can’t decide for somebody else. Just pray. I should pray about it.¬†

Anyways, I am not getting a haircut. What I need to do is work on my emotions. Work on my issues. And not hide it just by getting a haircut. Or shopping online. Oh yeah, about that. Well, that would be a new post.