Hello Mimay


When our admin asked the team to send her a picture when we were a baby/kid,I sent her this. My love for Hello Kitty started early, thanks Mom.

Past Present Future

Tears dominated
My life before I met you
I’m jaded, hopeless

Hopeless romantic
Always giving my heart out
Nothing left, got tired

Ray of light, you were
Picked me up from where I lay
Your smile was enough

You were different
You listened and let me talk
Poured my heart out easy

Days passed, maybe weeks
Loved unconditionally
I feel that you care

Promised forever
This is my kind of happy
Love that never ends

You are my present
You helped me forget my past
Future, yes you are

Football

R: I used to play in this field when I was in highschool.

M: Oh that’s right. You were in band.

R: Yup, I used to sit way up there.

M: And now you are back, watching football, with you wife. Is it weird?

R: Yeah, weird in a good way.

What is Love?

If you asked me that question 2 or 3 years ago, my reply would be ‘Love is something that two people should be fighting for.’ I also have this mentally that if I don’t fight or argue with you, it means I don’t care or love you anymore. This holds true with my past relationships. I always felt that it is me and my significant other against the world. That our love will win and prove to everybody that we are meant to be together. That in the end, we will have our happy ending and that everything will be perfect.

I was so naive at that time. Thinking that love is enough. I was in a long distance relationship for a long time and I kept on thinking that it will work. That we will soon be together. get married and have our own family. That nothing else matters, not even distance, because we love each other. Because we have love. I was so consumed by the thought of a happy ending that I forgot how unhappy I was. I tried to hold on to the relationship until it broke me. I was so lost because the only thing that I thought was permanent is now gone. All the promises, all the plans, gone just like that. We’ve fought for our love but it became apparent that distance killed us slowly.

If you ask what love for me is right now, I’ll tell you that it is learning everything about your significant other and being open-minded. If you are with the right person, everything falls into place. I never had to fight with anybody just to prove that we should be together. I never felt the stress and pressure to please anybody. Now love for me is discussing about who drives to where, buying groceries together, taking care of each other when one is sick, making meals for 2. Love is not just a fantasy that makes my heart skip when he posts something sweet online. Love is action, when he cooks you dinner and cleans your car.

Also, love doesn’t have a happy ending, because it doesn’t end.

Ung time na natusukan ako ng IV

Endometrial Polyp. Hindi ko akalain na darating ang araw na kakausapin ako ng doctor at sasabihin sa akin na yan ang diagnosis nya. Isang buwan ung mens ko, non-stop, kaya nagpatingin na ako sa OB ko. During the sonogram, ayun, may nakita syang “growth” sa loob ng matres ko. Hindi sya positive, pero parang polyp daw. Para makasigurado, I need to undergo a minor surgery. Dun na nawindang ang mundo ko. Surgery. Hindi naman daw major surgery, 15-20 mins. lang, tapos na. Matapos ang isang oras na visit, sinabi sa akin ng OB ko na maghintay ng tawag para malaman ko kung kelan ung surgery ko. A few days later, nakatanggap ako ng tawag, October 14, 12noon ang na-schedule. Buti na lang at naschedule kaagad dahil ang daming kaganapan ngayong buwan.

Dumating ang Oct.14. Dahil first time ko na maguundergo ng sugery, hindi ko alam kung ano ang ieexpect. Buti na lang madaming alam si Robert kaya medyo pinakalma nya ako. Dumating kami dun sa surgery center, nagfillout ng forms at naghintay. 30 mins. bago ung surgery, tinawag na ang pangalan ko. Sumama si Robert sa akin, pwede naman daw kasi. Pumasok kami sa isang room, sabi ni Robert, dito daw ung briefing room at recovery area na din. Dun, kinausap ako ng dalawang nurse at nung anesthesiologist. Nagbihis ako, sinuot ang gown at pinahiga sa kama. May dalawang upuan sa kanang nung kama, dun nakaupo si Robert. Kinuha ung blood pressure ko at kinabitan nung pangmasahe sa legs para daw maiwasan ang blood clot. Not bad, kumportable na ako. Bumalik ung nurse, ayun na, medyo nagpanic na ako. Kailangan akong lagyan ng IV para sa gamot at anesthesia. Never pa akong na-confine sa buong buhay ko kaya nung tinanong ako nung nurse kung saan ko gustong ilagay ung IV, sabi ko sa kanya, hindi ko alam dahil first time. Walang food at liquid after midnight kaya medyo nahirapan syang mahapin ung veins ko. May vein naman syang nahanap sa kanang kamay ko.

Eto na, ung needle na. Sabi ni Robert, hawakan ko lang daw ung kamay nya at tumingin ako sa kanya. Nakakatawa dahil sya pa ung nagdedescribe kung anung nangyayari. “It’s a small needle, you’ll be fine”. Alam nya na takot ako sa needles, sa kanya, wala lang. Naipasok na ang IV tapos dumating na ung OB ko. Kinausap kami saglit nung OB ko, sinabi lang kung ano ung gagawin sa akin. Habang kinakausap nya kami, dumating na din ung anesthesiologist. Nilagyan na ako ng anesthesia saka ako dinala sa operating room. Si Robert naman ay lumabas na sa waiting area.  Ang huli kong naalala e dinala ako sa operation room tapos lumipat ako ng kama.

Nagising ako, nasa recovery room na ako, kakatapos lang ng surgery. Andun na din si Robert, nakangiti syang sumalubong sa akin. Effective ung anesthesia, nakakabilib lang, wala akong naramdaman na kung ano. Binigyan ako ng apple juice at nagpapicture ako kay Robert para mai-send sa mga magulang at kapatid ko. Ilang minuto pa, kinausap kami nung discharge nurse, natanggal naman daw ung dapat tanggalin, so recovery na lang. Umuwi na kami after, naglunch at bumili ng donuts.

Hindi naman masyadong nakakatakot ung experience ko. Medyo kinabahan lang dahil first time ko na malagyan ng IV. Buti na lang andun si Robert, napakalma nya ako. I have a feeling na hindi ito ang last time na kakabitan ako ng IV. At least, alam ko na kung ano ang mangyayari. Hindi na ako masyadong matatakot, sana.