Every morning, during my drive to work, I listen to The Billy the Kidd Show on 96.7 Kiss FM. They have a segment on the show called “Second Date Update”. People who went on a first date would email the show about their date that they think went well but there is almost always something that happens after or during the date that causes the second date to never happen. Second Date Update’s goal is to find out why. So on air, the folks who went on the date will talk it out and let the other person know what went wrong. At the end of the segment, they decide if they’ll go on a second date or not. This makes my 30-45 minute morning drive very entertaining.
This inspired my blog post because I, too, almost didn’t get a second date. I messed it up and it wasn’t intentional.
Our first date was short and sweet I would say. We decided to meet up at a Starbucks – convenient location for both of us, on a Saturday afternoon. We hit if off right away, ended up talking for more than an hour. It was funny too because while we were talking, this lady with a cane came up to our table and said “Looks like you too are having fun.” Creepy lady with a wooden cane with carved animals. So random. But she was right, we both had fun. We texted each other after that and by the following day, we decided to go on another date.
We’ve set our date on a Friday and since I work until 5pm, he agreed to meet with me after I get off of work. I work as a software developer at that time, so my daily workload varies. This particular day, I ended up getting a lot of work. It was also because I am going on a 3-week vacation the following week so my day comprised of endless meetings and KT sessions. I got a text from him an hour before we decided to meet, just to check if we are still on. I replied with a yes, but asked if we can move dinner to a later time because I am stuck at work. He agreed to it. I felt bad but I also can’t leave work just like that. Now that I am writing this, I realize that I could be a workaholic.
Another 30 minutes passed, I am still not done, I then realized that with traffic, I won’t make it to dinner. So I texted him again said sorry that I will be late but will try to still make it. I got a response and he said that he’s got an early appointment the next day, so he can’t be out late. I still want to meet with him before I go on vacation. So I hurried and finished my work and texted him that I am leaving work.
I remember what happened next like it happened yesterday. I am driving and I got a text from him saying that maybe we should just reschedule. That broke my heart. In my head I’m thinking, “Why? I am on my way”. I replied with a sorry but I still want to do dinner if he’d like but suggested to pick another restaurant since traffic is bad. While I wait for his response, I am on the phone with my girl friend telling her how I think I messed this up. She got mad at me and blamed my workhalic-ness (If that is even a word). I finally got a response, which felt like a long time, and he said we can still meet up, that I name the place. I suggested a chinese restaurant around the area. He agreed.
We ate chinese, talked and decided to watch a movie after. We pulled out our phones, Googled the nearest theater and looked up what movie is playing in the next 30-45 minutes. We saw Godzilla that night. We left the theater a little late, which I don’t think bothered him that much.
After that second date, our 3rd date was after 3 weeks, when I came back from my vacation. Then we went on our 4th, 5th, 10th, 20th (I honestly lost count) date.
I think second dates are important — you don’t feel as nervous or shy during the first date so this time, you can actually be yourself. Piece of advise though, don’t be late, stop overthinking and chinese plus movie combo is tried and tested that you can’t go wrong.
PS. We got married a year and a half later so of course I had to ask his side about our 2nd date. I found out that he almost didn’t give me a chance. He assumed that I might be flaky (since he didn’t know me that time) but he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt and still went to have dinner with me. And movie. We are both glad he did.