Day 13 was bad – I skipped work because of it. I was crying before going to work, I had a very bad episode. I can see the sadness in Robert’s eyes, it was so bad.
Because of this, I asked my doctor to prescribe me another kind of anxiety medication because the other one doesn’t work as good. She sent the medication to my pharmacy and I picked it up. I am supposed to take this medication at night since it’ll cause drowsiness. I took it last night before going to bed. I woke up this morning, alert but I feel like I am floating. Robert said that it is normal to feel that way. I didn’t have any problems getting ready for work.
During my family doctor’s visit, my doctor sent a request for a psychologist to talk to me. It was scheduled for today, so I went before work. It was an hour long session and I found out (based on my answers), that I have mild depression.
I like talking about what I am going through. It helps me think about stuff and hearing me say things out loud, makes me more aware of what’s going on and what might be causing my depression. He gave me homework – pretty much write down the times that I feel depressed, what triggered it, what I thought of that moment and what I did. We’ll see how and when I get to use it.
Being mindful. That is what I should do. That my feelings are valid, I am feeling depressed and now I have to do something about it.