I got to meet my therapist today. I got a call late afternoon yesterday saying that they had a cancellation and if I can meet with him. I asked what time was the appointment and I was told 9am. I wasn’t planning on taking some time off from work but I decided to take the appointment.
We had a good talk. He asked how I was doing since I last saw him. Nothing really changed, I am still taking my medication and work was the same too. We started talking about how to change my perspective on how I see the situation. Yeah, sure, I am affected by what my co-workers are doing but why? Why does it matter so much, what they do or do not do. Why does their mere presence in the room gives me anxiety? These are questions that I don’t know the answer to and he said it’s ok. This is why we have therapy sessions is so we can talk about what’s going on and eventually come up with a game plan on how to handle things.
The whole hour flew by. While I was driving to work, there was something that he said that stuck with me — maybe that’s their personality. I mean, sure. I am the type of person who sees the good in people so I can’t just accept that reasoning. That they are just mean. Simple as that.
Maybe that’s true and I can’t do anything about it. What I need to do is to accept my situation and be ok with it, I guess. I can’t really change their personalities, but I can control mine. I won’t be necessarily ok with how they treat me but at least I can dismiss the thoughts since I know that they are just like that. I am still not ok with that idea, but I am slowly getting it.
In 2 days, I will meet with our family doctor. She wanted to check how I’m doing with the medication and how my days are. Writing about it helps me remember my thoughts and feelings so it’ll be easier to tell her what’s been happening.
I can tell you, I’ve been doing way better now. I just have to continue this.