Day 162: I feel good!

It has been a month since I started taking half a dose of my medication. I relapsed a few times which I expected to happen. A few episodes of crying and having a hard time explaining what I’m feeling or why I even feel a certain way. I have come to accept that this is all part of the process. Acceptance, is always the key.

I’ve mentioned on my posts about my depression that my long term goal is to be off of my medicines completely. But because of the relapse that I’ve experience, I was certain that I’ll have to take my medication, everyday, uncertain of when I can stop. It’s the uncertainty that made me decide to pursue another path, to try something different.

The same girl from work, who would listen to my woes, suggested that I try acupuncture. I’ve always had that curiosity about acupuncture, and after talking to her about it, I started to do my research. Acupuncture has it known benefits that can help people with depression, anxiety and even weight-loss problems. If you have infertility problems, acupuncture helps as well. I started reading about it and my friend recommended her acupuncturist. It has been something that I’ve always wanted to do for the experience, but if it can help with my depression, I decided to give it a try.

Two weeks ago, I went. They are running this free consultation and treatment promo, which meant that I get to try it and if I didn’t like my experience, then no harm done. The doctor is really nice – we talked about my current situation, why I thought about trying acupuncture. I told him my story. I started feeling emotional, I guess I felt sorry for myself (again). I thought that I was doing better, but clearly I’m not. He listened intently and asked questions. He suggested a treatment plan – 6 months of acupuncture (it doesn’t matter how often I want my session to be, as long as it is consistent) and I have to take some Chinese herbal medicine in a powder form. I nodded, he started scribbling in Chinese.

After talking with him, he led me to a treatment room. The sign said, “Good day, Carme”. I laid down, then he started poking me with needles while having a casual conversation. I had 2 needles on my head, a needle on each hand and 4 needles, in total, throughout my legs and feet. He asked if I feel comfortable and if I want some music. I said yes to both. I laid there for 30 minutes, he advised me to take a nap, but I can’t. My mind decided to be all over the place, I sensed anxiety rushing. After awhile, I started calming down, the music helped a lot. Before I know it, my appointment was over. I got my herbal medicine and have a plan for the next 6 months.

I’ve been taking the herbal medicine for a week now and my head starts to feel clear. I scheduled my next acupuncture appointment. I will also start taking 1/2 dose of Lexapro every other day. I’m starting to feel a little good. There would still be days that are not so pleasant but that’s just life. I hope this works.